Signing off

Wow where to begin? Final posts seem so conclusive that I've been sort of afraid to write this for a few days now. I'm sitting in my empty apartment, packing bags and doing laundry because I'm heading to the airport super early tomorrow morning. Most of my friends left this morning.

I suppose I should first say thank you to all those who expressed concern for me after the typhoon. Luckily Taipei only experience a lot of rain. No mudslides and other scary things that made the American news. I was in fact in Hong Kong last weekend when the typhoon hit so I was utterly unaffected except that my plane was delayed. I would describe my weekend in Hong Kong if we didn't have so many other things to discuss. Suffice it to say: Hong Kong is the bomb. I loved it. Everyone should go. 10 points for Asia. But seriously, if you can give anything to disaster relief organizations, please do. 

I feel really bittersweet about leaving Taiwan, which is a good thing I suppose. Kelly and Erica stressed that upon departure we would be at a low point on our emotional graph or whatever it was they showed us at orientation, but I'm really not. As time passed I only continued to improve and accustom myself to this place. 

Sei and I have gone to this restaurant next to our apartment at least three times a week since the beginning of the summer. I once jokingly dubbed it "the best restaurant ever" but the name stuck. Seriously though, best kung pao chicken in the world. While we assumed that our persistent attendance and endearing foreignness would create an automatic inroad to the heart of the woman who owns the place, we continued to be rebuffed. (Okay, not rebuffed. But she didn't exactly mother us.) But this week as we were leaving, she asked Sei if she was Taiwanese. Sei replied in the negative, but as I walked by I quipped, "I'm Taiwanese, though." She proceeded to smack me, but seemed to find me entertaining enough. (Lord knows I crack myself up.)

Anyway, this breakthrough came about eight weeks too late because we had to say goodbye last night. It was, however, a really fitting measure of our progress in Taiwan. We had a long conversation (about Korean jinseng of all things) and she seemed genuinely upset to see us go. Which was awkward when I showed up for dinner tonight, explaining that it was Sei's last night before, but this was mine. As I ate my fried rice all by my lonesome, she brought over some soup as a nice gesture. I'm really going to miss that place. 

[Probably skip the next two paragraphs: an evaluation of my Chinese program] On a different note, I think I will miss ICLP least of all. We had our last class on Friday and boy was I ready for it to be over. As the summer continues I grow ever more angry that I stayed in my original class assignment. I think I really missed an opportunity to learn more this summer by sticking with my teacher's recommendation. As a measuring stick for all of you, I was using the same textbook as the Yale kids who had just finished 1st year. (I just finished second year.) And they got further into the book than I did by the end of the summer because their classmates could handle a faster pace than mine. This makes me so angry I can't even really put it to words. I have to reassure myself with the knowledge that I made the best of my situation by taking on a third textbook. And improve I did. It would be impossible to go to 15 hours of class a week in the middle of Taiwan and not improve. They had us retake the placement exam that we took at the outset and my score went from 61 to 100.  I'll chalk a lot of this improvement up to the fact that I'd already taken the test once before. But nevertheless, I suppose I can't be too angry with the results. Plus, I'm heading into a really intense semester this fall so I've definitely enjoyed the lighter pace and the ability to explore Taipei. 

I think ICLP has potential to be a really strong program. My teachers were wonderfully competent and their textbooks are great. The school just accepted a record number of summer students for which they really didn't have the capacity. For instance, placing 130 students was such a mess that they got lazy and stopped allowing people to move around to their appropriate levels. Most of all, I just think that ICLP creates a really relaxed environment. Their goal doesn't seem to be to replace a full year of study at an American university, probably because most of their students aren't American university students. The summer seems to be a good time to take an easier course load and brush up before continuing with ICLP in the fall. I think that until they design the summer program to match the goals of summer students looking to study hard, I would recommend that Yale kids study somewhere else. There are other ways in which ICLP just didn't facilitate the creation of a more intensive environment. I was sometimes really frustrated that my classmates had prepared significantly less than I had, and a lot of my class time was spent catching them up, but my teachers never suggested that they put in more effort. The "Language pledge" which only took effect on two floors of a building slowly deteriorated through the summer. (I won't claim innocence on that one.) Its really the student body that makes a school and I think ICLP can't afford to accept so many students if it means such a disorganized and lax environment. 

I went to tea with Lu Laoshi (my former Middlebury teacher) this afternoon as well as a few of his ICLP students. He and I compared the two programs a bit and he seemed to have similar impressions of ICLP's comparative lack of organization and pace, but he did say that the ICLP teachers were generally more experienced. Anyway I got to ride to the tea house on the back of his motorcycle which was really exhilarating and something I think you have to do before you leave Taiwan. There are bazillions of scooters on the streets of Taipei and now I've seen the view from atop one. (Sorry Mom, but I'm alive and I'm leaving tomorrow so you don't have to worry about any repeat offenses.) Again it was one of those really encouraging experiences where we had a long afternoon of conversation in Chinese. I'm really glad I've been able to connect with Lu Laoshi through both summers, because he's been able to watch me progress from someone who spoke no Chinese to someone who speaks... well, some Chinese. Haha, likewise I've seen him progress from a pretty nervous teacher to a pretty confident one.

Probably the most relieving aspect of this summer is that I actually really love Asia. Had I decided that Chinese culture just wasn't for me, this would have been a big waste of Chinese classes. But I'm pretty strongly considering declaring a double major in Chinese when I get back, which seemed really unlikely heading into the summer. This means I'll definitely be back to this continent sometime soon. Now is probably a good time to give my hearty thanks to the Light Fellowship. I would absolutely not have come without their financial support and travel advice and they really did provide me with everything I could need in terms of funding. I genuinely thank you, and not just so I can start sucking up to reapply next year. :-)

Bittersweet is I think the best word for my feelings all of today. I videochatted with Jake for about two hours this morning which got me really excited to see family and friends again. But I'm straight up terrified for school this semester. Trying to balance Yale Daily News editorial board elections and a cappella auditions is already an insane task. Trying not to fail out of Yale while doing so, so that I can continue to be involved in both organizations is another thing entirely. I think I will most miss the regularity of this summer. I really learned the rhythms of this place. The weather here might be hot and humid, but at least its always that way. New Haven never lets you know what's ahead. But humid or not, I suppose I must leave. So thank you everyone who made this summer so wonderful, and all of you for following me and this blog. I've missed you all and cannot wait to see you all soon. 

-藍瑞康 (Eric)